TBH. To be Honest
Continuing on from yesterday, I just want To Be Honest, yet not give excuses. There’s a fine line there that I don’t pretend to navigate perfectly.
Yesterday left me asking myself, “Why, when another family I met walked through a similar valley as mine, did they come out smiling, while I find myself hunched over, and beaten down?” Is it because we serve different Guides? Because I’m not spiritual enough, strong enough, or something else?
You can read Part 1 here. TBH on the Homestead—Since the last UBC
First off, let me say that we (you, me, humanity) tend to assume a lot about others. For instance, smiling equals no trials. Obviously that’s wrong. Or, praising God equals something I can’t attain. Like I’m different or something.
The truth is, this other family went though a ten year period of trials, setbacks, and challenges just like we’ve gone through for four years. They experienced homesteading challenges, we are currently navigating that. They eventually said, “Enough is enough, we are moving on” but it does appear that they held onto God’s hand through it. So, even though they pulled the plug on their property, I don’t get the idea that they pulled the plug on God. They held on during the storm, and came through stronger as a family, and eventually cut their losses when another door opened for them.
AdThey have a testimony of God’s goodness to them, and that is the reason for the smiles.
I will say, that, not all at once, but as I let this truth sink in, I crave that. I know that my hold on God has slipped. Not because He’s gone anywhere, but I’ve gotten so tired.
Still Good.
I have never doubted God’s goodness to us. Rather, I’ve looked to the challenges and tried to figure out how to conquer them as if He’s not the Almighty. Struggles that have come close to breaking my heart have drawn me inward, and maybe I’ve tried to protect my heart even from the only One who could help.
God, in His mercy and love, never stops though, does He?
He opened my eyes to what I used to be, to what I can be, and has given me a glimpse of who I’ve let myself become. Truth is, I used to hold on stronger.
Seeing this family reminded me that I can walk through the wilderness with God.
It’s not my job to figure everything out. But Jesus is my Friend, and He cares so much.
I’ve been talking more to Him. When we have conflicts, I’ve done a little bit more praying, and listening to the other person.
Under a storm of stinging, faultfinding words, keep the mind stayed upon the word of God. Let mind and heart be stored with God’s promises. If you are ill-treated or wrongfully accused, instead of returning an angry answer, repeat to yourself the precious promises: – {HDL for 27.1}
I’ve been listening to a little book called Help In Daily Living. This book is giving me so many gems to store away. I’ve had to listen to chapter 2 at least three times, and need to go back frequently.
So long as we are in the world, we shall meet with adverse influences. There will be provocations to test the temper; and it is by meeting these in a right spirit that the Christian graces are developed. If Christ dwells in us, we shall be patient, kind, and forbearing, cheerful amid frets and irritations. Day by day and year by year we shall conquer self, and grow into a noble heroism. This is our allotted task; but it cannot be accomplished without help from Jesus, resolute decision, unwavering purpose, continual watchfulness, and unceasing prayer. Each one has a personal battle to fight. Not even God can make our characters noble or our lives useful, unless we become co-workers with Him. Those who decline the struggle lose the strength and joy of victory. – {HDL 28.2}
The more I claim one promise for help, the easier it is the next time. Baby steps are still steps.
Since the Last UBC
So…since the last Ultimate Blog Challenge, I’ve gone from barely any blogging to deciding that I’ll just do my best to put down some thoughts as I have time.
This week we have picked apples, and now we are in the midst of canning applesauce. Mom and Aunt Peggy are helping with the chopping, which was a huge blessing! I’m canning at Mom’s house since she has a kitchen and I have a camper kitchen.
We are in our camper still. But we are making progress on the house. We had out plumbing rough-in passed on Friday, and Andrew is finishing up on the installation of our vent fans, and then I’ll call for the electrical inspection.
After that, it’s insulation, then the walls and ceilings to cover. Yes, we are slow, but when you have to learn every trade as you go, that’s just life.
Over the summer, we got our solar squared away, with new batteries that work well, and that has made a huge difference! As in, we can run a fridge now. That has made a huge difference, especially after our camper fridge bit the dust.
My dad’s health has been declining. We’ve tried to spend more time with him, between the garden, canning, and building chores. His siblings came up to visit him and that meant the world to him. One of the few blog posts I wrote recently explains that a bit. Mom Said Hospice
We are hitting school between projects. Austin moved out, and that’s been an emotional struggle for this mama. Thankfully, he’s still in town and still comes to church. God knows his heart and is at work.
There’s a lot I’m not saying, but amidst everything that happens in daily life, I can say with confidence, God is good
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And here’s a song that has encouraged me.
Prickly Chestnuts
As a side note, I chose my picture of the chestnut for this blog post’s illustration. I see it as the challenges we face. Full of prickles and spines, they can cause much pain. God can open the nut in His timing, and at that point, we can grasp the delicious treat inside. Far better than forcing our way and getting pricked.
I hope you enjoyed my rambling thoughts today. If one tidbit blesses you, then it has been God.
Nice post. We all have our own personal battles and Jesus is a “personal” savior. We are shaped by our experiences.
I do agree. I’m thankful that in each of our unique struggles, God has a purpose.